LAWS OF DATING (contd).

THOU SHALT NOT IGNORE WARNING SIGNS (Continued).

This post is a continuation of the post I published earlier.

Don’t be caught up in the excitement of your relationship that you fail to heed warning signs.  Many marriages are on the rocks today because the people involved ignored obvious warning signs while they were dating. I am going to share 6 major warning signs with you that I don’t mean you should work on improving but should make you break up the relationship the moment it is detected.

2)  Addictions:

When you are in relationship with an addict, you are relating with someone that is controlled by a substance. Addicts are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, liars and irresponsible. The addict is not available to have a healthy relationship. If your partner is addicted to alcohol, drugs, television, food etc you will become frustrated in the relationship. Drop him or her like a hot potato.

3)  Infidelity:

 Trust is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship. But when there is unfaithfulness or infidelity, especially in the early stages of a relationship, then trust is shattered before it is even fully established. I know a lot of married persons that ended up marrying unfaithful partners. Such relationships end up in chaos. Married couples have died of AIDS because an unfaithful partner got infected with HIV and infected his/her spouse. One of the major reasons of abuse in a marital relationship is infidelity. When your partner gets sexually involved with others, you become second place in his/her life. You will be treated like trash.

4)  Irresponsibility and Immaturity:

When you find yourself with someone who hasn’t quite grown up, you should consider this a serious warning sign. An immature person, by his/her behaviour is indirectly saying to you, "I don’t want to grow up. Will you please take care of me?"

How do I know an immature/irresponsible person?

• Lacks goals, direction and purpose for life.
• Is indecisive about many things- even important issues.
• Procrastinates often.
• Has difficulty keeping a job for a reasonable period of time. Has careless spending habits.
• A constant borrower.
• Such a person will frustrate you. They are a liability. Ticks that feed on the blood of an animal. Run away from such.

5)  No physical/sexual attraction:

If there is no chemistry/physical attraction in the relationship even after a while of relating with this person, why are you still there? Certainly this is not the most important aspect of a relationship and it alone will not sustain a healthy relationship, but it is very important nonetheless. Don't fall into the temptation of being attracted to someone else because you are not attracted to the one you married. You deserve to fall in love with the one you want to get married to. Don't be pressured into marriage. You should not even get married to someone to please parents. Fall in love with the one you want to marry.

6)  Emotional Baggage.

People have issues but there are people who can't let go of the past and it affects their present relationship. They blame you for what their previous lover did to them. Always suspicious of your every move. This is a red flag honey. Jump before the lava of emotions swallow you.

Why people Ignore red flags (warning signs) in relationships.

It’s familiar to them.

There are those who see tendencies of abuse in his/her partner but still go ahead to marry him/her. This is all he/she knows. His/Her Dad abused the mother and might also have abused him/her.

They feel they don’t deserve anything better.

They are victims of inferiority complex. They believe they deserve to be abused. These ones are emotionally devastated and shattered. They don't see anything good in themselves and as a result they feel they don't deserve someone loving. They actually get suspicious of genuine people that show them love. 

It is better than nothing.

Some people ignore these warning signs because of their fear of being alone. They believe that it is better staying with this abusive person than being alone.  They have this slogan enshrined in their system that "Some attention-even if it’s negative-is better than none at all." They should believe God for their own soul-mate. God brought Eve to Adam and He has not resigned from the match making business. God is a match maker. Trust Him for your own spouse and He will definitely connect you with him/her.

Fear of the break up.

Another reason why some ignore these warning signs is their fear of not finding another partner when this abusive partner leaves. Some others are afraid that their desperate lover would do exactly what he/she threatened to do if they break up the relationship. A deep seated fear that he/she might do something crazy like committing either suicide or murder or something irrational. You are safer without such a person than with that person. Break off the relationship politely. You are not responsible for his/her actions.

 You can enjoy your relationship. I'm enjoying mine. Obey these laws and enter into the haven of family bliss. It's possible. God's grace.

I pray for everyone of you going through challenges in your relationship for the wisdom of God to rest upon both of you so that every contention would be addressed and dealt with in the name of Jesus! Talk soon.